A main barrier to some people taking an HIV test is fear of a positive result and the impact it might have on their lives.In support of National HIV testing week 21st – 28th November 2015, Positively UK aims to remove the fear of testing and worry of a positive result.During national testing week we will be sharing the stories of seven men and women who have had the HIV test and received a positive diagnosis.We hope this diverse range of experiences will reduce the anxiety some people may have about testing and will enable those who may test HIV positive to seek support to live well with HIV.
One Sunday, I had severe stomach ache so my cousin took me to the emergency department. They couldn’t find anything wrong with me therefore the doctor just gave me some paracetamol to ease my pain and advised me to go to the GUM clinic. On Monday, I decided to go to the nearest GUM clinic for a full check-up. I used to go to the gynaecologist back home but since I arrived to the UK, I haven’t been and I didn’t know it was free. Once I was in the clinic, I ticked all the boxes (general check-up). Taking an HIV test wasn’t an issue since I had the same boyfriend for 4 years and I tested negative (although I didn’t know the meaning of my result) before starting my relationship with him.When I got my result, I didn’t know what to think. Everything went blank. I don’t know, I think I was devastated because from that moment, I knew my life will never be the same again.
I knew I had to change my life plans and kept my diagnosis from my mother. I shared everything with my mother before HIV but HIV was the only thing I would rather kept for myself. I didn’t want to break her heart and to disappoint her.I didn’t know anything about HIV and the stigma attached to it, as soon as I left the consulting room, I called my boyfriend. A few weeks later, I rang all the persons I had been with. I didn’t want to blame my boyfriend or to see anyone of us ill. After perfectly doing my duty of saviour, I decided to go on treatment. I didn’t need to go to treatment straightway but that was the only way I could be reassured that I won’t die.
I have always been a positive, confident and resilient person. Knowing that being on treatment is a way forward to a healthy life, meeting others people who were a living proof that I will live and going to support group were the keys to my recovery. The information I was getting from trainings and support groups really change my perception about living with HIV.The day I was giving a positive HIV diagnosis I thought all my life will be ruled by it, but today I see HIV as a tiny virus I control.
I truly believe that receiving a positive HIV result is devastating but living with it is much easier. It didn’t change my life plans but rather it helped me to rethink about my priorities. I am convinced that it made me a different person. It has unveiled the true me. I am more focused and determined to achieve my goals. Now I know exactly what I can accept or compromise. I am also more aware of my well-being and care much for myself than ever.
Is taking three tablets a day an issue? Not for me especially when I think about people who have to travel miles to get their tablets or who can’t access to their ARVs. I feel blessed and grateful to be HIV positive when things have changed.